Joel Osteen Jokes Excerpt


I heard about this kindergarten teacher.

She wanted to teach her students about self esteem.

She said to her class

“Everyone who thinks you are dumb, please stand up.”

She didn’t think anybody would stand

and she’d make the point how no one was dumb.

But about that time little Jonny stood up.

She didn’t quite know what to do.

She said,

“Now Johnny do you really think that you’re dumb?”

He said, “No Ma’am,

I just hate to see you standing there

All by yourself.”


I heard about this 85 year old woman.

She went on a blind date with a 92 year old man.

She came home very frustrated and her daughter said,

“Mom, what’s wrong?”

She said, “I had to slap him three times.”

The daughter said, “You mean he tried to get fresh?”

She said, “No. I thought he was dead.”


This was sent to me (Joel) from a senior citizen’s home.

It’s about this 84 year old woman.

She’d gotten out of shape and knew

she needed to start exercising.

So she decided to join an aerobics class for seniors.

And the first day,

she bent and twisted and gyrated back and forth,

jumped up and down, perspired for over an hour.

But she said by the time she got her leotards on

the class was over.


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